25 Meme-worthy Quotes from The Office

The Office Quotes

These are the most memorable, most meme-worthy, and most famous quotes from The Office of all-time! Wether you’re looking for Michael Scott quotes, Dwight, Jim, Pam or other characters, these are The Office quotes you want and need.

The Office Quotes

I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.

“I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?

“I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)

It’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose.

“It’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson)

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Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.

“Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson)

I talk a lot, so I learn to tune myself out.

“I talk a lot, so I learn to tune myself out.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)

I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.

“I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” – Pam Beesly (Jenna Fischer)

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Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.

“Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.

“I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.

“I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?

“Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

The Taliban is the worst. Great heroin though.

“The Taliban is the worst. Great heroin though.” – Creed Bratton

I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.

“I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

I am Beyonce, always.

“I am Beyonce, always.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

How are you not murdered every hour?

“How are you not murdered every hour?” – Andy Bernard (Ed Helms)

I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before … try.

“I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before … try.” – Jim Halpert (John Krasinski)

Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.

“Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” – Stanley Hudson (Leslie David Baker)

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

“If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.” – Michael Scott (see more Michael Scott quotes)

You guys I’m like really smart now. You don’t even know.

“You guys I’m like really smart now. You don’t even know.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)

When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.

“When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson)

There is no such thing as an appropriate joke, that’s why it’s a joke.

“There is no such thing as an appropriate joke, that’s why it’s a joke.” – Ryan Howard (B.J. Novak)

I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.

“I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.” – Creed Bratton (Creed Bratton)

Mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault.

“Mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault.” – Andy Bernard (Ed Helms)

Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.

“Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling)

Why are all these people here? There’s too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.

“Why are all these people here? There’s too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson)

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