12 Best Shrek Quotes and Misquotes

Shrek Quotes

These are the Shrek quotes that any true fan needs to know! The funniest, most brilliant quotes from the movie.

Shrek Quotes

I’m going to be a father, how did this happen?

“I’m going to be a father, how did this happen?” – Shrek

This’ll be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles.

“This’ll be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles.” – Donkey

And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eeking outta my butt that day.

“And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eeking outta my butt that day.” – Donkey

Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

“Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.” – Captain of Guards

Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.

“Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.” – Magic Mirror

Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.

“Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.” – Shrek

I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.

“I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.” – Pinocchio

No! I’m an ogre! You know, Grab your torch and pitchforks!

“No! I’m an ogre! You know, Grab your torch and pitchforks!” – Shrek

Whoa. Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?

“Whoa. Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?” – Donkey

Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.

“Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” – Shrek

Ogres are like onions.

“Ogres are like onions.” – Shrek

Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.

“Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.” – Donkey

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