
These are the Shrek quotes that any true fan needs to know! The funniest, most brilliant quotes from the movie.
Shrek Quotes

“I’m going to be a father, how did this happen?” – Shrek

“This’ll be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles.” – Donkey

“And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eeking outta my butt that day.” – Donkey

“Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.” – Captain of Guards

“Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.” – Magic Mirror

“Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.” – Shrek

“I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.” – Pinocchio

“No! I’m an ogre! You know, Grab your torch and pitchforks!” – Shrek

“Whoa. Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?” – Donkey

“Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” – Shrek

“Ogres are like onions.” – Shrek

“Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.” – Donkey

“You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly.” – Donkey

“I just know, before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.” – Donkey

“Someday, I Will Repay You. Unless, Of Course, I Can’t Find You Or If I Forget.” – Shrek

“Please. I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak… Well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!” – Donkey

“Wow. Let’s do that again.” – Donkey

“What kind of a knight are you?” – Princess Fiona

“Eat me.” – Gingerbread Man

“Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?” – Donkey

“Because that’s what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER.” – Donkey

“Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” – Shrek

“C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” – Donkey

“Wow, only a true friend would be that truly honest.” – Donkey
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